{"id":1077,"date":"2013-03-03T09:24:45","date_gmt":"2013-03-03T17:24:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.abacus-es.com\/journal\/?p=1077"},"modified":"2022-01-21T11:26:31","modified_gmt":"2022-01-21T19:26:31","slug":"the-chaos-by-g-nolst-trenite","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.abacus-es.com\/journal\/homeschooling-philosophy-and-resources\/the-chaos-by-g-nolst-trenite\/","title":{"rendered":"The Chaos by G. Nolst Trenit\u00c3\u00a9"},"content":{"rendered":"

The following verse, entitled \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The Chaos\u00e2\u20ac\u009d (by G. Nolst Trenit\u00c3\u00a9), is a compendium of all that is peculiar about English orthography. English is an immensely eclectic tongue, a fact that is responsible both for its vast expressive resources as well as utterly inscrutable spelling and pronunciation.<\/p>\n

The challenge is to read the following poem using correct pronunciation, or (far harder) to take it down from dictation, spelled correctly. Give it a try.<\/p>\n

Read by K. Titchenell for the College Prep English class<\/a>. Note: there is one known mistake in the following.\u00c2\u00a0 Can you find more?
\n<\/embed><\/object><\/p>\n

Audio file:
\nThe Chaos<\/a>
\n
Dearest creature in creation<\/span>
Studying English pronunciation, <\/span>

I will teach you in my verse<\/span>
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse <\/span>

I will keep you, Susy, busy,<\/span>
Make your head with heat grow dizzy. <\/span>

Tear in eye your hair you’ll tear,<\/span>
So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer, <\/span>

Pray, console your loving poet,<\/span>
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it! <\/span>

Just compare heart, beard and heard,<\/span>
Dies and diet, lord and word, <\/span>

Sword and sward, retain and Britain.<\/span>
(Mind the latter, how it’s written). <\/span>

Made has not the sound of bade,<\/span>
Say said, pay-paid, laid, but plaid. <\/span>

Now I surely will not plague you<\/span>
With such words as vague and ague, <\/span>

But be careful how you speak,<\/span>
Say break, steak, but bleak and streak. <\/span>

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via,<\/span>
Pipe, snipe, recipe and choir, <\/span>

Cloven, oven, how and low,<\/span>
Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe. <\/span>

Hear me say, devoid of trickery:<\/span>
Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore, <\/span>

Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles.<\/span>
Exiles, similes, reviles. <\/span>

Wholly, holly, signal, signing.<\/span>
Thames, examining, combining <\/span>

Scholar, vicar, and cigar,<\/span>
Solar, mica, war, and far. <\/span>

From “desire”: desirable–admirable from “admire.”<\/span>
Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier. <\/span>

Chatham, brougham, renown, but known.<\/span>
Knowledge, done, but gone and tone, <\/span>

One, anemone. Balmoral.<\/span>
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel, <\/span>

Gertrude, German, wind, and mind.<\/span>
Scene, Melpomene, mankind, <\/span>

Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather,<\/span>
Reading, reading, heathen, heather. <\/span>

This phonetic labyrinth<\/span>
Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth. <\/span>

Billet does not end like ballet;<\/span>
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet; <\/span>

Blood and flood are not like food,<\/span>
Nor is mould like should and would. <\/span>

Banquet is not nearly parquet,<\/span>
Which does not even rime with “sparky.” <\/span>

Viscous, Viscount, load, and broad.<\/span>
Toward, to forward, to reward. <\/span>

And your pronunciation’s O.K.,<\/span>
When you say correctly: croquet. <\/span>

Rounded, wounded, grieve, and sieve,<\/span>
Friend and fiend, alive, and live, <\/span>

Liberty, library, heave, and heaven,<\/span>
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven, <\/span>

We say hallowed, but allowed,<\/span>
People, leopard, towed, but vowed. <\/span>

Mark the difference, moreover,<\/span>
Between mover, plover, Dover, <\/span>

Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,<\/span>
Chalice, but police, and lice. <\/span>

Camel, constable, unstable,<\/span>
Principle, disciple, label, <\/span>

Petal, penal, and canal,<\/span>
Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal. <\/span>

Suit, suite, ruin, circuit, conduit,<\/span>
Rime with “shirk it” and “beyond it.” <\/span>

But it is not hard to tell,<\/span>
Why it’s pall, mall, but Pall Mall. <\/span>

Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron,<\/span>
Timber, climber, bullion, lion, <\/span>

Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, and chair,<\/span>
Senator, spectator, mayor, <\/span>

Ivy, privy, famous, clamour<\/span>
And enamour rime with hammer. <\/span>

Pussy, hussy, and possess,<\/span>
Desert, but dessert, address. <\/span>

Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants.<\/span>
Hoist, in lieu of flags, left pennants. <\/span>

River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,<\/span>
Doll and roll and some and home. <\/span>

Stranger does not rime with anger.<\/span>
Neither does devour with clangour. <\/span>

Soul, but foul and gaunt but aunt.<\/span>
Font, front, won’t, want, grand, and grant. <\/span>

Shoes, goes, does. Now first say: finger.<\/span>
And then: singer, ginger, linger, <\/span>

Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, and gauge,<\/span>
Marriage, foliage, mirage, age. <\/span>

Query does not rime with very,<\/span>
Nor does fury sound like bury. <\/span>

Dost, lost, post; and doth, cloth, loth;<\/span>
Job, Job; blossom, bosom, oath. <\/span>

Though the difference seems little,<\/span>
We say actual, but victual. <\/span>

Seat, sweat; chaste, caste.; Leigh, eight, height;<\/span>
Put, nut; granite, and unite. <\/span>

Reefer does not rime with deafer,<\/span>
Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer. <\/span>

Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,<\/span>
Hint, pint, Senate, but sedate. <\/span>

Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,<\/span>
Science, conscience, scientific, <\/span>

Tour, but our and succour, four,<\/span>
Gas, alas, and Arkansas. <\/span>

Sea, idea, guinea, area,<\/span>
Psalm, Maria, but malaria, <\/span>

Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,<\/span>
Doctrine, turpentine, marine. <\/span>

Compare alien with Italian,<\/span>
Dandelion with battalion. <\/span>

Sally with ally, yea, ye,<\/span>
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay. <\/span>

Say aver, but ever, fever.<\/span>
Neither, leisure, skein, receiver. <\/span>

Never guess–it is not safe:<\/span>
We say calves, valves, half, but Ralph. <\/span>

Heron, granary, canary,<\/span>
Crevice and device, and eyrie, <\/span>

Face but preface, but efface,<\/span>
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass. <\/span>

Large, but target, gin, give, verging,<\/span>
Ought, out, joust, and scour, but scourging, <\/span>

Ear but earn, and wear and bear<\/span>
Do not rime with here, but ere. <\/span>

Seven is right, but so is even,<\/span>
Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen, <\/span>

Monkey, donkey, clerk, and jerk,<\/span>
Asp, grasp, wasp, and cork and work. <\/span>

Pronunciation–think of psyche–!<\/span>
Is a paling, stout and spikey, <\/span>

Won’t it make you lose your wits,<\/span>
Writing “groats” and saying “grits”? <\/span>

It’s a dark abyss or tunnel,<\/span>
Strewn with stones, like rowlock, gunwale, <\/span>

Islington and Isle of Wight,<\/span>
Housewife, verdict, and indict! <\/span>

Don’t you think so, reader, rather,<\/span>
Saying lather, bather, father? <\/span>

Finally: which rimes with “enough”<\/span>
Though, through, plough, cough, hough, or tough? <\/span>

Hiccough has the sound of “cup.”<\/span>
My advice is–give it up!<\/span><\/p>\n

Note: The Chaos<\/span> is written in British English and in a few cases the British pronunciation and spelling may be confusing. Here are some specific examples:<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
Word<\/span><\/td>\nPronunciation<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
bade<\/td>\nbad<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
gaol<\/td>\njail<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Reading<\/td>\nredding<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Pall Mall<\/td>\npell mell<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Ralph<\/td>\nrafe<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
lieutenants<\/td>\nleftenants<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I will teach you in my verse
\nSounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse<\/p>\n

I will keep you, Susy, busy,
\nMake your head with heat grow dizzy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,28,48,21],"tags":[51,52],"class_list":["post-1077","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-homeschooling-philosophy-and-resources","category-lectures","category-uncollege","category-verse","tag-english-pronunciation","tag-the-chaos"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.abacus-es.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1077","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.abacus-es.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.abacus-es.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.abacus-es.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.abacus-es.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1077"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"http:\/\/www.abacus-es.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1077\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1269,"href":"http:\/\/www.abacus-es.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1077\/revisions\/1269"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.abacus-es.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1077"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.abacus-es.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1077"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.abacus-es.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1077"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}